Have you ever been around a group of friends and that existential dread, that looms over everyone, hits and you start to think about life choices and why all of yours are wrong? Those aren't crazy thoughts I'm afraid. That's your brains survival mechanism making it uncomfortable for you to be in that situation. True story, but don't look it up. It could be true. Sounds true anyway.
true story...don't look it up
You start to think about where you'll be in 10 years, and whether you're on a collision course to failure faster than it took to look up your brain's survival mechanisms. And most of the time, this is due to a very simple reason. You've spent too much time around the same group of people. Your brain has plateaued in its capability, and it's bored, just like any other muscle does once you have exhausted it enough. If you sit there and read the same book for 10 years, and do nothing but that for 10 years, you're probably less likely to survive than the guy who skimmed over 100 books in that time.
Once you have that life altering realization though, you're good to go. And that's what this post is about. Being the smartest person in the room, why that's not a good thing and what you can do to change that up a bit.
If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room...
Never be the smartest person in the room
First thing's first, you're never going to be the smartest "anything" in this world. But that doesn't mean you can't work towards it. Being the smartest person in the room is by no means any way to brag. More than anything, it says something about who you're spending your time with. If you ask me right now, I'm the most talented musician from my close friends. Because I'm the only one that owns a musical instrument. Same basic principle.
I play it alright
it's all relative
If you're ever within a group of people, and you're the only one that knows what's going on in the world. The only one that's motivated and interested in new ideas and thoughts and such, and you find yourself slowing down, in order to keep up, then you are in the wrong group of people. You'll end up keeping those ideas to yourself and end up dumbing down your conversation to keep up.
You should pat yourself on the back as you have achieved the higher echelons of "groupdom" and go home. And I'm not saying friends are the cause, by no means. It is the type of friends, and the consistency in which they take part in your life. I like having a cup of joe with friends that I haven't seen in weeks every now and then. We get to talk about the past and about random nonsense usually. But I don't do that every day, or even every month really.
The main problem here is that you have little to nothing to learn or gain from your current group. However many times, you're overwhelmed by the imaginary adulation that comes with being the smartest in the room and so you stay and make it your second home. You're the person with the clever quip and the perfect timing.
And by the time your head is as big as the "metaphor goes here", anyone else that encroaches that territory will be below you. Chuck in IT just released a new app, and you already hate it. And you tell your group of this hatred, to further fuel your self-worth. Meanwhile, your app is still in pre-pre-alpha, as you haven't thought of it yet.
you have nothing to learn and nothing to gain at this point
So instead of working with more talented individuals, you'll find yourself talking more about why those people suck, and why you're so awesome.
Seeking out the best
There's a reason why lunch meetings with Billionaires sell for millions of dollars nowadays on the old interwebs. And that's because finding success is one of the rarest things in our world. So when you have someone that has found it, repeatedly, their time and knowledge is priceless.
So if you're wondering why Warren Buffet won't hang out with you. Wonder no more. It's because his circle of friends are either at, or above his level.
Find someone that knows more than you and work with that person. That goes back to Chuck in IT. Ask him about his app and how he built it. Offer to help, if only to learn a bit about the process. Imagine 6 months later after you and Chuck are buddies, compared to when your group crowned you king.
I remember when an old colleague began his journey into self-stardom and I was too busy being the go to guy at work to notice it. Hence, the "smartest" guy in room. This person constantly asked for feedback and ideas. He received little from me however, as I just assumed that he would fail in the end. Now I find myself 5 years later doing the same thing that he did back then.
Back in the day
In reading old time stories about Edison and Tesla and that time period in general I found the same pattern throughout history.
Mark Twain in Tesla's Lab
Smart people hung around other smart people back in the day. Many people don't know that Tesla was good friends with Mark Twain. People don't realize that Einstein
And that continues on to this day. You'll constantly see millionaires talking to other millionaires about their potential world changing ideas and you wonder why the best conversation you've had all week was about that latest conspiracy theory on YouTube.
The only real way to challenge yourself is to find your match. You have an idea and you never worked on it. Find that guy that built your idea in 3 months.
It's great to be the dumbest
Can you picture yourself in a room full of people and you're the dumbest person there? How amazing would that be? How much could you learn in 30 minutes? What would you ask?
How much could you learn in 30 minutes
Make that your goal. To find a way to get invited to that meeting. And maybe after a year, you'll be smarter than 2-3 people there. And eventually, maybe some young punk will be invited to this meeting and he'll be asking you questions. Everyone starts out on the same level, it's important to realize that. And we all learn from others, always. There is no person on Earth that has achieved success without using another person's knowledge in some shape way or form.
Maybe they read a book, or they saw a quote, or they took a class from that person. They probably didn't spend their weekends reading that same quote with 3 friends for hours on end however.
I think getting to that realization is the important part however. Once you realize it, everything else will fall into place. Nowadays, my weekends consist of working, analyzing and thinking of new ideas with a close group of friends, and meeting new people that are interested in the same.
Ideas are forming constantly, and for sure it shapes the way that you move forward in life.
Just 5 years ago, my weekends mainly consisted of eating food and playing video games, because after all, in my apartment, I was the smartest guy in the room. And I'm glad it only took me 5 years to make this realization.